Thursday, April 12, 2012

Game Rage: A BIG Post of Tanking Woes

Play on, Playa

I have a level 45 paladin tank. She's my second toon I'm going to level up so the guild she's in will have a dedicated tank or healer to play off of the other guild lead. My goal is to get her up to 85 so we can do guild runs on dungeons and level the guild. Right now we're a level 11 guild. They've been a guild for at least three years. It needs some serious life blown into it so people will consider joining an RP guild. Perks are nice. (Something I didn't realize until I moved one of my toons into an actual raiding guild.
Last night I queued for a dungeon and got in pretty well right away. I pop in at the beginning of a dungeon and three people are dead. There are also dead bodies lying around, so I figure the tank DCed, but I always ask what happened in case there's a problem I need to be aware of. I rez the Healer and she thanks me. I rez the DPS from Kel'Thuzad and blink. I never like having anyone from KT in my party. Still alive is a worgen rogue named Wal and another DPS that popped in when the last bailed. KT guy says the tank bailed because someone doesn't know how to watch their 44s. I have no idea what that means. Neither does the GF when I ask her from across the sofa. I just ignore it because the guy is from KT and probably an asshole as this has been my experience. Heals tells me the tank bailed and we're not even half way through the dungeon. I have only been in said dungeon once before and that was on my 85 to get a run achievement. I inform the group and Heals takes over as the run leader, filling me in on what I need to know as we go along.
We go straight through the door and take out the first group of trash, run a little further down the hall and there is a quest giver, a daily quest and some trash. Wal starts sneaking up on them and before I can tell him to wait so we can clear trash, he aggros the trash. All of it. The entire room. I rush in and start picking up aggro, pulling one of them off the heals because it seems to find her delicious. Meanwhile Wal isn't attacking trash, he's picking up quests. I shouldn't have to tell the DPS that their role is to, you know, attack things, but I post a generic "help" to the party chat and wait. He finally comes over to help out. As we're killing off the last two ogres.
Before I can say anything else to him, Wal runs off down the hall and up the ramp. Heals and I are replenishing mana. Next thing I know, here comes Wal running back down the ramp with a mob of trash following along behind. I take a deep breath and tell him to stop aggroing things. Heals types the same thing, telling him they don't want to have to wait for another tank. This is when Wal informs us this is his first dungeon. KTdps flips out and is like "dude, how long have you been playing?"
A week. He's level 45 and has only been playing a week. Oi. So I start informing him of my rules as a tank.
I now have them as a macro. That I am going to spam at the beginning of the run. Always and forever more. Because of this one run.
Heals tells Wal that he is a rogue and can stealth and run up to the questgivers, but it's always safer to just wait for the tank to clear out the trash. We manage to get everything taken care of, run down the hall toward the first boss. Wal puts on his ogre suit. He walks up to trash. Trash aggros to me. We take it down. He keeps going. He walks up beside the boss. Boss aggros. I am still taking on trash. Heals misses me and I wipe. The rest of the party wipes. Except Wal. He's still standing there in his ogre suit. Alive. Hasn't been attacking.
As I run back to my body, I am doing some very deep breathing exercises. VERY deep breathing. Trying to be slow and steady about it. I run toward my corpse indicator on the screen. Heals flips out on me at this point. "Oh for chrissakes, the door is right beside the angel!"
"I can leave if you'd like."
Wal whispers me "no". He then says he's GTG. He leaves party. We get a new DPS. I come into the dungeon and get hit immediately with a pat. I have to run back out. Heals asks where I'm at. I say I'm getting my ass kicked. They come back for me. DPS drops. We get a new DPS. Holy balls. We finally make it back to where we were and run to the next room. The new DPS is horribly helpful, telling us we have to clear all the trash before we take on the boss. I'm calling him Navi at this point. Navi keeps chirping about all the trash. We take on the boss. It takes for-ev-er. I can't figure out why.
The shammy dropped totem and did nothing else at all. I'm starting to suck my teeth at this point because it's totally not the party's fault we keep getting assholes. We have to wait for the two adds to get in with us. Shammy is still AFK. No DC, no warning. AFK. We four man the two adds. We run down the hall. We stand in front of trash and have to wait. And wait. And WAIT.
I lose my shit at this point and tell shams that he either needs to get his ass up with the rest of the group and start participating or I'm going to kick his ass and wait for the next ass scratcher to come in to play. He needs to get his thumb out of his ass and actually play the game or we're leaving him. Heals adds to that he will be booted if he doesn't pull his weight. He laughs it off.
We actually made it through the last boss. I don't know how. I'm seriously done at this point. Thankfully my friend had asked me to run with him and I bailed to my 85.
tankypants
I play a tank, as I've said in my last post. Being a tank sucks sometimes. Sometimes you go on tilt and you say things that aren't the party's fault. It's up to you to be better than that.
I ran a few dungeons with a friend of mine the other night. We were queued for random Cataclysm dungeons. When we get in, the tank starts off right away. Since I'm geared for LFR, I'm overpowered for these dungeons, so I try and keep from doing anything too fast so the tank can grab aggro. I wait for them to gather and then heroic leap into the fray.
The tank starts flipping shit on me, freaking out, telling me to go kill myself and how I should do it, ranging everywhere from setting myself on fire to hanging myself in my basement to running into traffic.
My party member I'd run with, Cos, asks what's going on. The tank doesn't want to explain. He finally wheedles it out of her and she's pissed because someone has knockback and made her have to gather the group again. Understandable rant. Apparently she thinks it was me. I don't have knockback. I double check to make sure I don't have knockback. I don't have knockback. The knockback that happened froze some of the enemies, making it a little easier to round them up again. Regardless, the tank was on tilt. She said she was sick to shit of stupidity.
After I gave her a bit to calm down and we work through some more trash, she seems to have leveled out. That is, until the rogue snuck up ahead of her toward the boss and she lost her shit again. I left. Cos was playing heals. He left, too. Angry tanks? Not so much of the good. She must have REALLY been having a bad day.
Carry me!
I have a now level 52 pally tank. I like to level her because there's generally less bitching and wanking in the lower level dungeons. Today when I queue, I get a group of pretty laid back people that are fun to run with. We don't die, I'm keeping aggro and we're all good. So I run with them for the better part of two hours. Coming down on the last run before I have to leave, we end up with a new heals because heals keeps dropping after every fight instead of running with us again. No crisis. No one is making them stick around with us.
Enter the heals. We start the dungeon. We don't even get to the first boss before heals is whispering me "Kill me, this DPS sucks". I blink and just ignore it for a few minutes, but then I type back "can't kill heals" and go on about my business. We're in level 50 dungeons. Most of us are just facerolling it because we CAN. The channel goes quiet while we take down the first boss. Afterward, heals posts the recount. I'm doing 50% of the damage in the dungeon. One of the DPS is like "WOO TANK!" I'm pretty pleased with that as well. We celebrate by killing more trash.
Heals starts completely freaking the fuck out. "The DPS sucks! How do you ever expect to run DS with those kind of numbers!?"
Um. I don't. I'm level 52. You can't get into Dragon Soul until level 85. I'm still quite a good way off. I tell them this.
"That's no excuse to play with complete mediocrity! You should totally play your class and know your class and know what you're doing and ..." blah blah blah I tune them out and keep pulling trash. We make it to the second boss. Heals is still going on and the rest of the group is like "WTF dude, chill". I ask if we're going to keep bitching at one another or if I should pull. Heals gets pissy and says to just go, so I do. We whip the boss down and I stop putting so much into playing so maybe heals will shut the fuck up. This only seems to infuriate them more at our complete ineptitude.
"Okay, so I'm the tank, right? I'm pulling 50% of the damage, right? You only really have to heal me, right? What's your bitch, dude? If I'm not complaining, why does it matter?"
They launch into another long ramblerant about how we need to learn our toons and how to play and on and on and I post simply "TLDNR". This makes the heals even more upset, but at this point, I don't care. Instead, I tell him that he knew how he got in there, he knew how to get out. I just suggest that he tell me before I pull the final boss.
"No, go on. I can carry you through the final boss."
Um. Who's carrying whom, here, bitch? If I'm doing half the damage... isn't it ME carrying everyone?
I pull the boss. One of the DPS starts pulling higher numbers. Heals stops healing them. The hunter dies. Heals stops doing ANYTHING. Then leaves party. I rez the hunter.
I honestly don't understand why in the hell people have to put so much stock in numbers until you get to about level 80-85. They nerfed everything down so it's lower level anyway, especially since the point of the game is to get to 85 and do endgame shit, right? What makes the damned difference? And to come into a party and do nothing but cause problems when the group has otherwise been running just fine? Seriously? Get a grip.