Friday, April 17, 2015

Mashed Potatoes

HOW DARE THIS SITE HAVE RULES!? HOW DARE THEY NOT LET ME BREAK RULES JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T READ!? I'M LEAVING THE SITE FOREVER AND NEVER COMING BACK!

I don't know if you guys are familiar with the concept of sticking your dick in the mashed potatoes, but the idea is like this:

Someone is having a party. Everyone knows you don't stick your dick in the mashed potatoes, so no one does because everyone just knows not to walk in and stick their dick in mashed potatoes.

Then you get someone who walks in and does just what is understood you don't do. So you have to make a rule. "Do not stick your dick in mashed potatoes"

Then you get people who like to run off to the head. How close can I get mashed potatoes before my dick is considered in them? What if they're mashed sweet potatoes? What about yams? The answer comes back "No mashed potatoes of any kind".

THIS IS WHY WE HAVE ALL THE RULES WE HAVE. BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE TO COME IN AND STICK THEIR DICK IN THE POTATOES.

Okay, rant over. *coughs*

You also cannot put dildos in the mashed potatoes. You didn't grow the dick, so you cannot put it in the mashed potatoes. I don't care if you bought it, it doesn't go in the mashed potatoes. Not at my party.

And since I noticed this in another thread of conversation, I do have to state that, in fact, it is not acceptable to stick your dick in the corn unless everyone is done eating it, in which case, yes, of course, feel free to stick your dick in the buttery goodness. But ask first, for Godssakes. And as for the green bean casserole, go ahead and stick as much of your dick in that as you want, no one really likes that stuff anyway.

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" Similarly, If there is no one around and a dick slides into the mashed potatoes, did the rule get broken? My answer is yes. If you don't like it, go to someone else's dinner.

Yes vulvas really do count as dicks. We now have a rule change that states "No dicks or vulvas in the mashed potatoes."

You people rock my socks. So seriously. And I am thinking about posting this somewhere that isn't adult in nature just so people can link to it without causing trouble.