I genuinely believe every author who has ever written a book, even those who have not yet been published, believes their work is complete and utter tripe. We worry that the descriptions aren't descriptive enough. The sex scenes, if any, aren't sexy enough.
We overuse words. We pour through the manuscript until our eyes figuratively bleed looking for every little problem. We spend literal hours fussing over our babies.
Then we send them off to someone else so they can give us their opinion. At best, an acceptance. At worst, rejection. And then there's the "revise and resubmit" which seems like, basically, someone saying "read my mind to give me what I want out of this story". You mange that, you're in. You don't? Rejection.
Rejection sucks. Hard. And without someone giving us feedback and telling us exactly what they want or are looking for or what they found wrong with what we did, we can't hope to improve.
All I can say is thank gods for my crit group. Not only are they there to tell me when something is complete shit, they're also there to give me support and tell me I've got this. I can write the thing. I can do the thing. I'm talented. I just have to work at things X,Y and Z to be better.
I am still writing now that my work life and personal life have settled into a routine. I can find those few precious moments to write and still have time to play the games I love, hook up a video game for awhile and go shopping with the girlfriend. I also have to do grocery shopping, clean the house, make sure we have meals prepared during the week and all that other fun adulting shit.
Today is a me day. I finished the manuscript, made the corrections necessary and now I'm waiting to hear back. I'm honestly nervous because I put so much work into this piece. I changed it so it's not even the same story it was before. Now I just have to wait for someone else's opinion.
Spotify on. Grill is sprayed down so I can clean it. We're grilling out tonight. I'm going to spend time in our little 9 foot pool with water that doesn't even come up to my knees. And I'm going to kick up Persona 4 and fall into that for awhile.
Then it's back to the writing grindstone. I want to write that novel I talked about a year or more ago with my Circlet editor. It's not going to write itself.